Staying Alive

Things I've learned from watching horror movies:

1. Any time you hear a strange noise coming from the basement and ask, "Jim is that you?" If Jim doesn't answer it's not him and it's probably not a good idea to go down there.

2. If you are an attractive and intelligent women your chances of survival are high. If you are only an attractive women your chances of being murdered first are high. If you are only an intelligent man you don't have a prayer.

3. Before going on a weekend outing to a secluded lake where many teenagers have been murdered years before you should probably have your car serviced, as they have a terrible time starting when you are being chased by homicidal maniacs.

4. Whenever one of your friends says, "We should split up." don't listen, that person is crazy and should be sent off by themselves because their stupidity is a danger to everyone.

5. When killing any type of monster, beast, or deranged killer make sure they are dead. I don't care if you shot it in the heart, stabbed it through the head, or ran over it with a train, until you cut it into little pieces and burn it to ash there is always a chance of it getting back up.

6. Never go back for a dog, cat, or even a kid. The only reason these things are around is so more people can get killed looking for them. If they turn up missing while something is on the loose killing people the best thing to do is get to the next country as soon as possible and wait for them to turn up later.

7. If the thing coming after you moves very slow such as a zombie, don't run, power walk. If you run from something slower than you, you will always fall down and for some reason not be able to get up fast enough before said thing catches up with you. It's better to travel at a moderate pace and keep it safe.

8. It's true, if you have premarital sex in a horror movie you'll die. If you are newly weds and have sex you'll still die (Not enough time has passed). If you want to have sex but no one will let you, you die (I think it makes you look perverted). The only people in horror movies aloud to have sex and live are couples that have been married a good number of years (Nobody cares what they're doing).

9. Killers will always use the strangest things for weapons but never firearms. You can leave all the rifles and handguns laying out if there is a psycho killer around, but make sure you lock up all the garden tools, home improvement items and the ice cream scooper.

10. If you suspect you might be in a horror movie never take a shower, look in a mirror, go in the attic, check the fuse box, pull sheets off furniture, or open a door behind which you heard strange sounds. None of these things are known to turn out well for the parties involved.

Who's Your Target?

Psalm of Thanksgiving

I heard from God last night. Not in the super spiritual Old Testament way where God spoke to me through a burning house plant or anything. But, not in the cliche, "This passage in the Bible spoke to me" way either. It was more like an, "Hey idiot, open your eyes and look at what this really is" type thing. To put it in a more common way, a light bulb came on, I had an epiphany, or a moment of clarity if you will.

The last time I felt like God was telling me something, was probably well over a year ago. "What," you say, "Isn't God suppose to speak to the pastor every week as he prepares his sermons?" If so I've been missing the call lately. The strange thing is it didn't come while I was praying or trying to spend time alone with God. It hit me while I was checking the score of last night's football game.

I felt good today, better than I have in awhile. This doesn't mean that everything is going to be easy from this point on, but I now thing I see my place in where I am right now. It's not much, but it's just enough. Last night I realized I'm a pastor, maybe not a very good one, but one of God's and that means a lot.

Thank you to whoever prayed for me, I know someone must have.

Thank you to Cris Elrod for reminding me that the enemy only attacks what he fears.

Thank you to God Almighty, for never giving up on me, the least of his servants.

Okay, let's do what we've been put here for...

Complaint Psalm

I was forgotten about today.

I was warned about how lonely you can feel as a pastor, but I never thought that it would happen to me. I thought I was too surrounded by people, too emotionally strong, maybe even too blessed by God. Long story short, I was wrong.

I remember feeling it come on for the first time months ago. It was the time my wife went back to work after having the baby. I was left with the two kids at night and that with the new job and the new church started to weigh on me. I remember standing in my friends' kitchen trying to explain what was going on with me and how difficult it had became for me to preach. They told me I wasn't by myself, they told me my preaching was fine, I got a hug. I started to feel better.

Tonight wasn't a big deal, and I know it's irrational for me to be sad about it, but isn't that the way demons work, whispering irrational things into your ears until the little things add up to a crushing weight?

I have found myself:

preaching community, yet feeling alone

teaching people to overcome sin, while I struggled with my own

trying to help people understand God, as I wrestle with Him myself

urging people to pray, although I cry out to God unanswered every night

The whole thing reeks of irony, or maybe just hypocrisy.

Either way, this is not self-pity, although I'm sure it sounds that way. I know I'll get through this the way I've been brought through dark places before.

I just want to give a warning to those of you in the beginning processes of planting a church. This has been one of the best things I've ever done , yet it has also been one of the darkest. Don't do this unless you know you've been called. If you have been called, God help you.

As for me, Though He slay me...

Proof You Shouldn't Mix Two Things You Love

Something To Put In My Ear

I have been in a new music drought for about three months now. I used to always have a new song or two that I'd be playing over and over again while working at my computer, but I've been relying on old stuff for a little to long now. So, over the next few days I'm going in search for new music, not necessarily brand new, but at least stuff I haven't heard or took the time to appreciate before. I'll bring back my results soon. Pray for me.

Good

Church was good today even though I don't know why. On the outside it didn't look any different than any other Sunday, but it felt different to me. The last few months have kinda been an emotional roller coaster for me. I've went back and forth from feeling feeling down to feeling hopeful. Lately though, I've been feeling good, not hopeful really because that implies I'm looking forward to something and I'm not at the moment, but just happy to be doing what I'm doing with the people I'm doing it with and not caring so much about the rest.

Not everything is the way I want it right now, but I do believe God's doing things and that's enough for the time being. Maybe everything will change by next Sunday, but for right now I'm enjoying this.