Before automated phone services:
Receptionist: Thank you for calling Healthtrap. How may I direct your call?
Me: Hi, I'm calling from a pharmacy. I need a refill too soon override.
Receptionist: One moment while I transfer you to that department. Have a nice day.
After automated phone services:
Recorded Voice: Thank you for calling Healthtrap. If you are calling from a doctor's office press 1. If from a pharmacy press 2.
Me: (2)
Recorded Voice: You pressed #2 if this is correct press #1 if not press #2
Me: (1)
Recorded Voice: If you are calling about a prior auth request press #1. If about a claim rejection press #2. If you need an override press #3.
Me: (3)
Recorded Voice: You pressed #3 if this is correct press #1 if not press #2
Me: (1)
Recorded Voice: Please enter the patient's I.D. number.
Me: (555221234)
Recorded Voice: You entered 555221234 if this is correct press #1.
Me: (1)
Recorded Voice: According to our records the patient's last name is Smith, first name John, Date of Birth 01/01/25. If this is correct press #1.
Me: (1)
Recorded Voice: Please hold while we transfer your call to the next available representative.
Me: (Waiting for twenty minutes while listening to the worst music ever made by man.)
Representive: Thank you for calling Healthtrap. How can I help you.
Me: Hi, I'm calling from a pharmacy. I need a refill too soon override.
Representive: Can I have the member number?
Me: Uh, I gave it to the computer. It's 555221234
Representative: Can I have the member's date of birth?
Me: The computer figured that out from the number.
Representive: I'm sorry sir?
Me: It's 01/01/25.
Representative: Can I have the member's name.
Me: (sigh) It's John Smith.
Representative: Now, how can I help you?
Me: As I was saying, I need a refill too soon override.
Representative: You've called the wrong number. This line is for claim rejections only.
Me: But this is a claim reject. It's a refill too soon reject! Your automated voice thing even gave me the option for overrides, I pressed #3! I don't want to go through another list of options, I just want an override!
Representative: I'm sorry sir, but you need our clinical department. Don't worry though I'll directly transfer you.
Me: Oh good, thank you.
Representative: Just one moment while I connect you.
Me: (A few moments go by and I hear a "click")
Recorded Voice: Thank you for calling Healthtrap. If you are calling from a doctor's office press 1. If from a pharmacy press 2.
Showing posts with label Rants. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rants. Show all posts
Friday, February 8, 2008
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Spiderman 3 (spoilers)
Me and Tyson watched Spiderman 3 last night. We weren't expecting it to be anything great, but we thought it would at least be a fun flick for a Friday night at home. Oh, we were so wrong. This has been the worst movie I've seen since I couldn't find the remote and ended up watching the Lifetime channel. I swear they must of called Warner Bros. and asked how they ran the first Batman franchise into the ground and took notes. Here are some of my thoughts:
1. There were like eighty super villains. They tried to throw every bad guy they could think of into this movie which left them about 3 minutes of screen time to develop each one's origin and back story and still ended up making a movie that felt five hours long. The alien symbiote (sp?) fell from a meteor next to Peter and Mary Jane making out, went home with peter, and promptly disappeared for the next three hours.
2. The Sandman was created by falling into a molecular particle accelerator that was set up outside in the middle of of forest guarded only by a chain link fence and miraculously being used at 12:30 at night, you know the time all molecular physicists do their best work. Oh, and by the way, it turns out the Sandman was the one who kills Peter's Uncle and not the guy he didn't stop in the first movie, thus making the whole reason Parker became Spiderman a big misunderstanding.
3. Let's talk about Venom for a moment now. The villain everybody wanted to see was played by Topher Grace the only man in Hollywood built more like a girl than Tobey Macguire. This is like the third movie I've seen this guy in and it's the third movie he's revised his role of Eric Forman from That 70's Show. It's just what this movie needed a Venom that looked like a twelve year old girl might defeat him.
4. They continued the tradition of taking off Spiderman's mask evey chance they could so we could see Macguire's face, you know because he's a big time actor and needs his face time. The movie's called Tobeyman right? There's a reason why superheros wear masks and it kinda makes the whole idea of wearing them silly when you take it off in broad daylight in the middle of the city every chance you get.
5. For some reason the Black Spiderman outfit turns people into a dancing goth. Yes, he danced around New York for about twenty minutes of this movie. Yes, he did have to dress up like a 10th grader with social issues during those twenty minutes.
6. That's okay though, because apparently getting hit on the head makes you into a smiley dork who likes to cook and paint, as we see in the case of Osborne. I thought I was watching Joel Olsteen. I forgive him though because I felt sorry for him after his butler decided to tell him Spiderman didn't actually kill his father. This is information that he probably could have used before he spent years of his life trying to kill his best friend while nearly getting himself killed and ending up horribly disfigured.
There's a lot more, but I need to stop thinking about this movie now. Once again Hollywood thinks they can have a sure thing with a superhero movie and decide to throw any crap at us because they know we'll watch it no matter how lame and poorly done it is. They are right.
1. There were like eighty super villains. They tried to throw every bad guy they could think of into this movie which left them about 3 minutes of screen time to develop each one's origin and back story and still ended up making a movie that felt five hours long. The alien symbiote (sp?) fell from a meteor next to Peter and Mary Jane making out, went home with peter, and promptly disappeared for the next three hours.
2. The Sandman was created by falling into a molecular particle accelerator that was set up outside in the middle of of forest guarded only by a chain link fence and miraculously being used at 12:30 at night, you know the time all molecular physicists do their best work. Oh, and by the way, it turns out the Sandman was the one who kills Peter's Uncle and not the guy he didn't stop in the first movie, thus making the whole reason Parker became Spiderman a big misunderstanding.
3. Let's talk about Venom for a moment now. The villain everybody wanted to see was played by Topher Grace the only man in Hollywood built more like a girl than Tobey Macguire. This is like the third movie I've seen this guy in and it's the third movie he's revised his role of Eric Forman from That 70's Show. It's just what this movie needed a Venom that looked like a twelve year old girl might defeat him.
4. They continued the tradition of taking off Spiderman's mask evey chance they could so we could see Macguire's face, you know because he's a big time actor and needs his face time. The movie's called Tobeyman right? There's a reason why superheros wear masks and it kinda makes the whole idea of wearing them silly when you take it off in broad daylight in the middle of the city every chance you get.
5. For some reason the Black Spiderman outfit turns people into a dancing goth. Yes, he danced around New York for about twenty minutes of this movie. Yes, he did have to dress up like a 10th grader with social issues during those twenty minutes.
6. That's okay though, because apparently getting hit on the head makes you into a smiley dork who likes to cook and paint, as we see in the case of Osborne. I thought I was watching Joel Olsteen. I forgive him though because I felt sorry for him after his butler decided to tell him Spiderman didn't actually kill his father. This is information that he probably could have used before he spent years of his life trying to kill his best friend while nearly getting himself killed and ending up horribly disfigured.
There's a lot more, but I need to stop thinking about this movie now. Once again Hollywood thinks they can have a sure thing with a superhero movie and decide to throw any crap at us because they know we'll watch it no matter how lame and poorly done it is. They are right.
Friday, December 7, 2007
What Did You Just Say to Me? (Part Two)
Here we go again, a little more spiritual jargon I can do without. Maybe you haven't heard some of these, if so I'm envious. These are saying I've heard from Christians that were probalaly alright the first five hundred times they were said, but like anything, loses its meaning after awhile and just ends up becoming spiritual filler indecipherable to those outside the church and not much more intelligible to those of us within.
1. Servant Leadership - Okay, I know this is a good thing, but could we please come up with a different name since we've driven this one into the ground for the last 20 to 200 years? I think my real problem with this one is that I'm just sick of hearing about leadership. How about we just serve and forget about the leadership part for just a little while. If people start to follow us, then great. If not, oh well, we are still serving. We have somehow put it into peoples' heads that to be a Christian is to be a leader. We get so caught up on wondering if we are leading correctly that we forget that we are suppose to be following someone.
2. Prayer Altar - There is something about using this one that makes you sound more like you've been playing D&D in your mom's basement rather than pastoring a church.
3. Season - Such as, "I'm in a season of...growing, renewal, harvest, etc." Why does everything have to be so poetic to have meaning? Why can't we just say, "I'm getting the crap kicked out of me right now" or "God's really been doing a lot with me right now?" Let's save the poetic words for the occasions when we really have something to say.
4. Beloved - I know I'm loved by the Lord so this term fits, but there is just something that feels weird when a pastor refers to a room full of people as beloved or "belove-ed." How about just , "hey everybody" or "you guys" instead?
1. Servant Leadership - Okay, I know this is a good thing, but could we please come up with a different name since we've driven this one into the ground for the last 20 to 200 years? I think my real problem with this one is that I'm just sick of hearing about leadership. How about we just serve and forget about the leadership part for just a little while. If people start to follow us, then great. If not, oh well, we are still serving. We have somehow put it into peoples' heads that to be a Christian is to be a leader. We get so caught up on wondering if we are leading correctly that we forget that we are suppose to be following someone.
2. Prayer Altar - There is something about using this one that makes you sound more like you've been playing D&D in your mom's basement rather than pastoring a church.
3. Season - Such as, "I'm in a season of...growing, renewal, harvest, etc." Why does everything have to be so poetic to have meaning? Why can't we just say, "I'm getting the crap kicked out of me right now" or "God's really been doing a lot with me right now?" Let's save the poetic words for the occasions when we really have something to say.
4. Beloved - I know I'm loved by the Lord so this term fits, but there is just something that feels weird when a pastor refers to a room full of people as beloved or "belove-ed." How about just , "hey everybody" or "you guys" instead?
Monday, August 20, 2007
But It's So Big
Things that you are sure to find at Wal-Mart:
1. A bin the size of a VW Bug full of $3.99 movies that doesn't contain a single DVD that you'd pay a dollar for.
2. Someone wearing pajamas.
3. That the ratio of children to adults in the store is never below 3/1.
4. An old man at the door who will take eight minutes checking that your receipt matches the tube of toothpaste you just bought, while six people carrying major electronics slip out the door behind him.
5. That the items in the jewelry department look suspiciously similar to the things in fifty cent vending machines that you passed on the way in.
6. Bathrooms that make a port-a-potty look like a five star hotel.
7. One guy wondering if saving a couple bucks is really worth all this.
1. A bin the size of a VW Bug full of $3.99 movies that doesn't contain a single DVD that you'd pay a dollar for.
2. Someone wearing pajamas.
3. That the ratio of children to adults in the store is never below 3/1.
4. An old man at the door who will take eight minutes checking that your receipt matches the tube of toothpaste you just bought, while six people carrying major electronics slip out the door behind him.
5. That the items in the jewelry department look suspiciously similar to the things in fifty cent vending machines that you passed on the way in.
6. Bathrooms that make a port-a-potty look like a five star hotel.
7. One guy wondering if saving a couple bucks is really worth all this.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
No Man's Land
I went grocery shopping for Autumn this morning and I got to say I really don't like grocery stores. Maybe it's because my first job was in a grocery store and I still have flash backs, or maybe it's because shopping is one more thing that I'm not that good at. Either way, here are some of the things I don't like about the grocery store:
1. Selecting Produce/Meat - I go to buy a couple onions and the woman next to me is giving a tomato the 31 point Toyota Used Car Inspection. She's smelling it, squeezing it, rotating it, thumping it, etc. Why is produce the only thing that you can buy in a store that comes with the risk of getting a bad item? I've never had to squeeze a Twinkie to see if it was good, there are people that go through and get rid of the bad ones before I get there. As for good meat over bad meat, it's a dead animal. How good can it really look? In my book meat looks good if it looks dead and looks bad if it looks alive.
2. Club Cards - I hate these things. The grocery stores save millions of dollars in research and they pretend that you are befitting by saving big bucks by using these cards, but in reality you're just getting the sales prices that everyone got before the cards came along, just now you have to be signed up with the store to get them. I used to intentionally only shop at the store that didn't have rewards cards, but now everyone in Vegas uses them with the exception of Wal-Mart. Too bad shopping at that place feels like shopping at an outdoor swap meet.
3. The Time Spent - I know that there are a thousand rants about the layout of the stores, I used to hear them all the time when I worked there, but they're true. Why is the bread and the mustard on the same aisle but the peanut butter and jelly five aisles down? Why is chocolate syrup next to the cereal but marshmallows are next to the pancake mix? Asking somebody really isn't an option for me. I usually work around the store five times until I give up and go home, where I will try to convince my wife that the store was all out of soup.
4. It Hurts My Back - It's not the lugging the groceries, it's all the women that keep asking me if I'll bend down and get something off the bottom shelf for them. It seems like no matter how many times I bend over I always come up with the wrong item and they ask me to do it again. The funny thing is when I finally do get what they want they never seem that interested in the item, but they always seem to have a smile on their faces so I guess they appreciate the help. Funny how this never happens when Autumn is around.
1. Selecting Produce/Meat - I go to buy a couple onions and the woman next to me is giving a tomato the 31 point Toyota Used Car Inspection. She's smelling it, squeezing it, rotating it, thumping it, etc. Why is produce the only thing that you can buy in a store that comes with the risk of getting a bad item? I've never had to squeeze a Twinkie to see if it was good, there are people that go through and get rid of the bad ones before I get there. As for good meat over bad meat, it's a dead animal. How good can it really look? In my book meat looks good if it looks dead and looks bad if it looks alive.
2. Club Cards - I hate these things. The grocery stores save millions of dollars in research and they pretend that you are befitting by saving big bucks by using these cards, but in reality you're just getting the sales prices that everyone got before the cards came along, just now you have to be signed up with the store to get them. I used to intentionally only shop at the store that didn't have rewards cards, but now everyone in Vegas uses them with the exception of Wal-Mart. Too bad shopping at that place feels like shopping at an outdoor swap meet.
3. The Time Spent - I know that there are a thousand rants about the layout of the stores, I used to hear them all the time when I worked there, but they're true. Why is the bread and the mustard on the same aisle but the peanut butter and jelly five aisles down? Why is chocolate syrup next to the cereal but marshmallows are next to the pancake mix? Asking somebody really isn't an option for me. I usually work around the store five times until I give up and go home, where I will try to convince my wife that the store was all out of soup.
4. It Hurts My Back - It's not the lugging the groceries, it's all the women that keep asking me if I'll bend down and get something off the bottom shelf for them. It seems like no matter how many times I bend over I always come up with the wrong item and they ask me to do it again. The funny thing is when I finally do get what they want they never seem that interested in the item, but they always seem to have a smile on their faces so I guess they appreciate the help. Funny how this never happens when Autumn is around.
Monday, March 26, 2007
Christian Bookstores
I do not like Christian bookstores, once in a great while there will be an item that I need right away and can't wait to have mailed to me and I'll be forced to enter into one of these dens of iniquity. I always come away feeling depressed.
Maybe there are some out there that are different (The Archives in Pasadena, CA are good folks in my book) but these are some of the reasons that make me feel the way I do:
The Books - Unless your genre of choice is leadership or Christian Living the selection is about as limited as your options at the dry cleaners. Expect to see large amounts of books that have a smiling dork on the cover and are basically his last major sermon series that he's selling to you for $19.99. As for Bibles, the same Bible you can find at Wal-mart miraculously becomes twice as expensive when placed within the sacred halls of these places.
The Music - I heard an interview with Bono from U2 where he said the reason why he never cared for Christian music is that it always came off like the artists were playing it safe and were afraid to talk about things that they were really feeling. I understand what he was saying, I think that Christian music has came a long way in the last ten years but in general most of it comes off musically sub-par in my ears. This leads me to wonder why I am asked to pay $22.99 for it at a Christian Bookstore, when at Best Buy Cds cost $14.99
The T-shirts - These things are just bad. If you own one I'm sorry. I once owned them too, it's never too late to get help.
The Jesus Junk - I was just saying how I needed pot holders with Bible verses on them, or maybe breath mints with crosses on them, or maybe toilet paper with fishes on every sheet.
What it basically comes down to is that these places charge me more because they have to in order stay open because not enough people shop at them. We are expected not to care about paying more because we are Christians supporting Christians. You don't come off very Christian to me though if you charge 20% more for everything you try to sell me. If you can't afford to keep the doors open while being normally priced then maybe you aren't called to run a business.
Anyway I'm off to buy more John the Baptist bug spray.
Maybe there are some out there that are different (The Archives in Pasadena, CA are good folks in my book) but these are some of the reasons that make me feel the way I do:
The Books - Unless your genre of choice is leadership or Christian Living the selection is about as limited as your options at the dry cleaners. Expect to see large amounts of books that have a smiling dork on the cover and are basically his last major sermon series that he's selling to you for $19.99. As for Bibles, the same Bible you can find at Wal-mart miraculously becomes twice as expensive when placed within the sacred halls of these places.
The Music - I heard an interview with Bono from U2 where he said the reason why he never cared for Christian music is that it always came off like the artists were playing it safe and were afraid to talk about things that they were really feeling. I understand what he was saying, I think that Christian music has came a long way in the last ten years but in general most of it comes off musically sub-par in my ears. This leads me to wonder why I am asked to pay $22.99 for it at a Christian Bookstore, when at Best Buy Cds cost $14.99
The T-shirts - These things are just bad. If you own one I'm sorry. I once owned them too, it's never too late to get help.
The Jesus Junk - I was just saying how I needed pot holders with Bible verses on them, or maybe breath mints with crosses on them, or maybe toilet paper with fishes on every sheet.
What it basically comes down to is that these places charge me more because they have to in order stay open because not enough people shop at them. We are expected not to care about paying more because we are Christians supporting Christians. You don't come off very Christian to me though if you charge 20% more for everything you try to sell me. If you can't afford to keep the doors open while being normally priced then maybe you aren't called to run a business.
Anyway I'm off to buy more John the Baptist bug spray.
Saturday, March 3, 2007
What Did You Just Say to Me?
I have ranted in the past about how I can't stand spiritual jargon (A.K.A. Christianeze). I think the purpose of talking is to communicate and one of the main purposes of the church should be to communicate the gospel. The problem is that communication can't happen when you are using words the other person can't have any hope of understanding.
I don't even think that the problem is the words we use themselves, most of the words I associate with being Christian jargon are actually very good terms for spiritual things. I think the issue lies with how we over use these terms or use them out of context. When used too much or in the wrong places words can lose the original thrust and meaning that they are meant to convey. Then words that are meant to communicate truth just end up sounding silly or meaningless.
So since you all know how much I love a good list, here is my list of the Christian words and phrases I can stand the least:
1. Amen? - No, I don't mean when it's said at the end of prayer, I mean when it's stated as a question. Simply put, amen means "true."Pastors will use this sometimes to get a response from the congregation when they want them to acknowledge something to be true and that is fine, but many times I have heard people ask this for things I can't confirm as true like, "God has given me a great wife. Amen?" What am I suppose to say to this? His wife might be horrible for all I know, let's remember God gave Hosea Gomer as a wife.
2. Praise Jesus - This is kinda of weird to me. I think we should praise Jesus, but it seems like people think that saying, "Praise Jesus" is the same as praising Jesus. Now you might say that Paul says this all the time in his letters, and that's true, but he was actually telling people to praise Jesus and not just to say, "Praise Jesus." This would be like me saying "Love Autumn" every time I felt love for my wife.
3. Crusade - It amazes me how many Christian organizations use the word crusade either in their names or to label their outreaches. I know the word has noble orgins, but doesn't anyone realize that this word brings up images in the minds of people of these little events in medieval history that weren't the best examples of Christian piety? What, was the name "Inquisition" already taken?
4. I want to speak into your life - Depending on your denomination, you may or may not have heard this one, but I've heard this tons and it makes me cringe. Where did they even come up with this one? This isn't even used in the Bible anywhere that I know of. Is it so hard just to say, "I'd like to give you some advice." Somehow does this make what you are going to say to me any more legitimate? I don't know what these people think they are speaking into, but I know what most of them are talking out of.
5. Fellowship - I think this is a great word when used in context, but what most Christians call fellowship is little more than a hand shake and a cup of coffee. Why do we feel the need to give hanging out with people a spiritual label anyway? Do we feel guilty when we are doing something with people that doesn't involve a Bible or prayer? When the Pharisees complained that Jesus was hanging out with too many sinners and eating and drinking too much He didn't say, "No, you don't understand, I'm fellowshiping." He just seemed to ignore their complaints for the most part. It seems that being super spiritual and extra religious doesn't get you much attention from God.
I don't even think that the problem is the words we use themselves, most of the words I associate with being Christian jargon are actually very good terms for spiritual things. I think the issue lies with how we over use these terms or use them out of context. When used too much or in the wrong places words can lose the original thrust and meaning that they are meant to convey. Then words that are meant to communicate truth just end up sounding silly or meaningless.
So since you all know how much I love a good list, here is my list of the Christian words and phrases I can stand the least:
1. Amen? - No, I don't mean when it's said at the end of prayer, I mean when it's stated as a question. Simply put, amen means "true."Pastors will use this sometimes to get a response from the congregation when they want them to acknowledge something to be true and that is fine, but many times I have heard people ask this for things I can't confirm as true like, "God has given me a great wife. Amen?" What am I suppose to say to this? His wife might be horrible for all I know, let's remember God gave Hosea Gomer as a wife.
2. Praise Jesus - This is kinda of weird to me. I think we should praise Jesus, but it seems like people think that saying, "Praise Jesus" is the same as praising Jesus. Now you might say that Paul says this all the time in his letters, and that's true, but he was actually telling people to praise Jesus and not just to say, "Praise Jesus." This would be like me saying "Love Autumn" every time I felt love for my wife.
3. Crusade - It amazes me how many Christian organizations use the word crusade either in their names or to label their outreaches. I know the word has noble orgins, but doesn't anyone realize that this word brings up images in the minds of people of these little events in medieval history that weren't the best examples of Christian piety? What, was the name "Inquisition" already taken?
4. I want to speak into your life - Depending on your denomination, you may or may not have heard this one, but I've heard this tons and it makes me cringe. Where did they even come up with this one? This isn't even used in the Bible anywhere that I know of. Is it so hard just to say, "I'd like to give you some advice." Somehow does this make what you are going to say to me any more legitimate? I don't know what these people think they are speaking into, but I know what most of them are talking out of.
5. Fellowship - I think this is a great word when used in context, but what most Christians call fellowship is little more than a hand shake and a cup of coffee. Why do we feel the need to give hanging out with people a spiritual label anyway? Do we feel guilty when we are doing something with people that doesn't involve a Bible or prayer? When the Pharisees complained that Jesus was hanging out with too many sinners and eating and drinking too much He didn't say, "No, you don't understand, I'm fellowshiping." He just seemed to ignore their complaints for the most part. It seems that being super spiritual and extra religious doesn't get you much attention from God.
Monday, February 12, 2007
Never
I admit it, I'm bored. So here we go, ten things I never want to see at The Venue:
1. Tambourines - As far as musical instruments goes this one ranks somewhere above the kazoo and below the cowbell for me.
2. Choir Robes - Choirs aren't our style to begin with, but I'll admit that there are a couple good ones out there, however I don't know how putting on a mumu helps you sing any better.
3. Pews - We would never think of putting such a horribly uncomfortable piece of furniture in our own houses but we somehow think that God wants it in His.
4. Overuse of Spiritual Jargon (aka Christianese) - I think a lot more people would give their lives to Jesus if they could understand what we were saying half the time.
5. Name Badges - I know some churches love these, but for me there is never a good reason for a stranger to stick something on my shirt.
6. Forced Physical Affection - The only two places in America where you will be told to hold a stranger's hand is a preschool or a church. I've noticed that since becoming a Christian I hug people I hardly know more than the people I love the most.
7. A Lack of Concern for the Lost and Hurting - Many churches spend more time and money on leadership development than outreach. Maybe we'd have less trouble getting people to follow us if we were actually going somewhere.
8. Alligators - They might be part of God's creation, but they scare me and there's no place for them here.
9. A Decoration Committee - Or half the other committees that spring up around churches unchecked. If it takes a team of people gathering on a weekly basis to decide how many fake plants should go around your sanctuary then you have some serious issues. The people who have the kind of time on their hands to be on these committees are usually not the people you want making decisions for your church anyways.
10. The Word "Ministry" After Every Job in the Church - I will ever be amazed by the number of churches seem to feel that a job is not important before God unless we put the word ministry after it. I've seen the custodial ministry, the tape/CD ministry, the parking lot ministry, the refreshments ministry, etc. Why can't we just say, "I'm the guy who cleans the floors and this is the lady who makes the coffee." Does it make unclogging the toilet any less important if we forget to add an extra word to it?
1. Tambourines - As far as musical instruments goes this one ranks somewhere above the kazoo and below the cowbell for me.
2. Choir Robes - Choirs aren't our style to begin with, but I'll admit that there are a couple good ones out there, however I don't know how putting on a mumu helps you sing any better.
3. Pews - We would never think of putting such a horribly uncomfortable piece of furniture in our own houses but we somehow think that God wants it in His.
4. Overuse of Spiritual Jargon (aka Christianese) - I think a lot more people would give their lives to Jesus if they could understand what we were saying half the time.
5. Name Badges - I know some churches love these, but for me there is never a good reason for a stranger to stick something on my shirt.
6. Forced Physical Affection - The only two places in America where you will be told to hold a stranger's hand is a preschool or a church. I've noticed that since becoming a Christian I hug people I hardly know more than the people I love the most.
7. A Lack of Concern for the Lost and Hurting - Many churches spend more time and money on leadership development than outreach. Maybe we'd have less trouble getting people to follow us if we were actually going somewhere.
8. Alligators - They might be part of God's creation, but they scare me and there's no place for them here.
9. A Decoration Committee - Or half the other committees that spring up around churches unchecked. If it takes a team of people gathering on a weekly basis to decide how many fake plants should go around your sanctuary then you have some serious issues. The people who have the kind of time on their hands to be on these committees are usually not the people you want making decisions for your church anyways.
10. The Word "Ministry" After Every Job in the Church - I will ever be amazed by the number of churches seem to feel that a job is not important before God unless we put the word ministry after it. I've seen the custodial ministry, the tape/CD ministry, the parking lot ministry, the refreshments ministry, etc. Why can't we just say, "I'm the guy who cleans the floors and this is the lady who makes the coffee." Does it make unclogging the toilet any less important if we forget to add an extra word to it?
Monday, January 22, 2007
Paperwork
I hate paperwork. I swear three trees have given their lives so The Venue can start and we haven't even had our official launch yet. I just thought you should know.
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