Saturday, August 2, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Greek to me
I haven't had much motivation to write lately. It's all this stupid homework, it feels like all I do is write the same meaningless filler in different ways every single day. You know, like I used to do on here all of last year.
I had enough of this kind of stuff back in Bible college. The stupid papers I had to write back then still give me nightmares to this day. If it wasn't for me deciding to specialize in ancient languages I don't think I would have made it through.
Since my school was an undergrad college, you were only required to take a one class intro to Greek and Hebrew, but for those few who were crazy enough and wanted to get a jump on grad school you could spend your last two years studying almost nothing but. Not many selected to do so, but those who did became part of a small brother (and sister) hood, that knew the Bible in ways its best not to think about any more.
In honor of those dozen or so of us that made it through to the end, and Dr. Jim W. Adams for making sure we learned or died in the process, here are the top ten reasons to study Greek and Hebrew:
1. Chicks dig guys with a big lexicon.
2. Just in case you are ever on an airplane and someone shouts out, "Please help me, can anyone parse this third declension noun?"
3. It's fun to swear in Hebrew.
4. You have an excuse to use flash cards beyond third grade.
5. Most people become afraid to argue with you about the Bible. This makes church council meetings more fun.
6. When people ask you what translation you use you get to say, "I don't."
7. People assume you are really smart, although in reality you spend entire classes relearning things that you should have learned ten years ago, like "what's an adverb?"
8. You get to spend years learning to read the Bible in its original languages just to come to the conclusion one day that the people that translated the thing into English are way better at this translating stuff than you'll ever be.
9. You start to appreciate little things more, like vowels, punctuation, and simple word order. Oh and English.
10. Future emphatic negation. (See, I just sounded really smart right there didn't I. Admit it.)
I had enough of this kind of stuff back in Bible college. The stupid papers I had to write back then still give me nightmares to this day. If it wasn't for me deciding to specialize in ancient languages I don't think I would have made it through.
Since my school was an undergrad college, you were only required to take a one class intro to Greek and Hebrew, but for those few who were crazy enough and wanted to get a jump on grad school you could spend your last two years studying almost nothing but. Not many selected to do so, but those who did became part of a small brother (and sister) hood, that knew the Bible in ways its best not to think about any more.
In honor of those dozen or so of us that made it through to the end, and Dr. Jim W. Adams for making sure we learned or died in the process, here are the top ten reasons to study Greek and Hebrew:
1. Chicks dig guys with a big lexicon.
2. Just in case you are ever on an airplane and someone shouts out, "Please help me, can anyone parse this third declension noun?"
3. It's fun to swear in Hebrew.
4. You have an excuse to use flash cards beyond third grade.
5. Most people become afraid to argue with you about the Bible. This makes church council meetings more fun.
6. When people ask you what translation you use you get to say, "I don't."
7. People assume you are really smart, although in reality you spend entire classes relearning things that you should have learned ten years ago, like "what's an adverb?"
8. You get to spend years learning to read the Bible in its original languages just to come to the conclusion one day that the people that translated the thing into English are way better at this translating stuff than you'll ever be.
9. You start to appreciate little things more, like vowels, punctuation, and simple word order. Oh and English.
10. Future emphatic negation. (See, I just sounded really smart right there didn't I. Admit it.)
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Pearls of Wisdom
Running never solves your problems, unless your problem is that you are fat, in which case running might be an advisable strategy.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Update
Here is the update to the stuff from my last post:
School - I passed that test. Everyone at the testing center heard *smack* *smack* *smack* They were like, "What is that noise?" I was like. "Oh, I'm sorry. That's just me spanking your test."
Work - Yeah, I got to start working on a way to stop doing that.
Kids - Ethan started walking. Now I need to start teaching him how to get me a Pepsi out of the fridge.
Hobbies - I've been lifting weights for two weeks straight now. I can now rip phone books in half. Well, at least the front covers.
TV- I finished the first season of Lost. I have to admit that I'm into it a little bit. I'll probably be starting the second season soon. Its good to have a show to replace Battlestar. That thing is getting worse every week.
Church - I preach at Clearview Fellowship at the end of next month. They will never be the same.
School - I passed that test. Everyone at the testing center heard *smack* *smack* *smack* They were like, "What is that noise?" I was like. "Oh, I'm sorry. That's just me spanking your test."
Work - Yeah, I got to start working on a way to stop doing that.
Kids - Ethan started walking. Now I need to start teaching him how to get me a Pepsi out of the fridge.
Hobbies - I've been lifting weights for two weeks straight now. I can now rip phone books in half. Well, at least the front covers.
TV- I finished the first season of Lost. I have to admit that I'm into it a little bit. I'll probably be starting the second season soon. Its good to have a show to replace Battlestar. That thing is getting worse every week.
Church - I preach at Clearview Fellowship at the end of next month. They will never be the same.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Consistency
Yeah, about that going to start blogging more thing...
A was a little busy with work, school, hiding the drugs, the kids, and weddings the last few weeks, but everything is slowing down a little now. So for all of those curious, here is a quick recap of what I'm doing lately.
School - I took a rather important test today. The phrase "fake it till you make it" sums everything up nicely. I'm going to have fun being a teacher.
Work - I sit in a cubical and make bad numbers go away for eight hours a day, for some reason I didn't get asked back this year as a career day speaker at the elementary school .
Kids - Ethan gave up the bottle but still won't walk, I'm thinking about taking up the bottle. Me and Hannah are both about a year from starting grade school.
Hobbies - Tyson and I bought a weight bench. I got Autumn a sewing kit because her husband's going to be ripped. Just kidding, she knows I already am.
TV - Battlestar is off for a week, Ghost Hunters for a month, Office is done for the year. I started Lost. I'm half way through season one and the fat guy hasn't lost any weight since he first crashed on the island and the dog hasn't been in the last two episodes. I'm just saying...
Church - I've decided I don't like a church having greeters. I had the same guy shake my hand and say "good morning" to me three times last Sunday. At the church I went to the week before I had to make through four different staff greeters to find a seat. I'm going to start wearing a greeter name badge as I check out churches. Maybe if they think I'm one of their own they'll let me pass by in peace.
A was a little busy with work, school, hiding the drugs, the kids, and weddings the last few weeks, but everything is slowing down a little now. So for all of those curious, here is a quick recap of what I'm doing lately.
School - I took a rather important test today. The phrase "fake it till you make it" sums everything up nicely. I'm going to have fun being a teacher.
Work - I sit in a cubical and make bad numbers go away for eight hours a day, for some reason I didn't get asked back this year as a career day speaker at the elementary school .
Kids - Ethan gave up the bottle but still won't walk, I'm thinking about taking up the bottle. Me and Hannah are both about a year from starting grade school.
Hobbies - Tyson and I bought a weight bench. I got Autumn a sewing kit because her husband's going to be ripped. Just kidding, she knows I already am.
TV - Battlestar is off for a week, Ghost Hunters for a month, Office is done for the year. I started Lost. I'm half way through season one and the fat guy hasn't lost any weight since he first crashed on the island and the dog hasn't been in the last two episodes. I'm just saying...
Church - I've decided I don't like a church having greeters. I had the same guy shake my hand and say "good morning" to me three times last Sunday. At the church I went to the week before I had to make through four different staff greeters to find a seat. I'm going to start wearing a greeter name badge as I check out churches. Maybe if they think I'm one of their own they'll let me pass by in peace.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Friday, April 25, 2008
Miracles?
So, as I said in my last post, Lily was born this last Monday. Autumn and I are no longer the only members of our group to have kids. This time instead of being the well-meaning yet almost useless support to my wife in the delivery room I was one of the anxious family and friends in the waiting room. Although I normally hate sitting around waiting for things, it was a welcome change.
The one problem about me waiting and not doing anything to keep my mind busy is that I begin to think and when I think my mind begins wondering down odd paths and back ways and before you know it I have something I want to get out of my head so I can sort it out. The problem was I found myself in a place where most of the people I usually ramble to were either MIA or busy tending to more important things at the moment. So, I decided I'd hold it in a little longer and maybe revisit the old blog for another round of rambling.
"The miracle of birth." I normally dismiss a statement like this as sentimental crap made up by people that feel the uncontrollable need to over dramatize everything in life to somehow give it more weight then it warrants. The more I think about it, however, the more I agree with this one. Oh, not because babies are cute (some are) or because life is precious (even though it is), but rather because of the process. If you've been privileged enough to have a front row seat to a pregnancy, labor, and birth either as an expectant father or probably better yet, as an expectant mother than you might have an idea of what I'm trying to say.
What makes it a miracle in my mind is that it doesn't seem much like one through the process. All of us enter this world through pain, discomfort, anxiety, blood, tears, sweat, and shear exhaustion just to start. Entering life is messy, traumatic, and a little dangerous. Before you were told, you never would have guessed the change that takes place and if you didn't know better you'd swear the way it works out in the end was impossible lie made up by those before you. Yet, in the end you find yourself holding something fragile and beautiful that wasn't here before the ordeal. I've seen a few real miracles in my life and read about one or two during my studies of the scriptures and the messy and dark situations they come out of bear some resemblance in my mind to this "miracle."
It struck me as I was sitting there that just eleven months earlier I was with Bekah at this very same hospital when they told her that she was losing the first baby. I remember the sadness and darkness that day. I remember the pain I felt for her, pain that was nothing compared to how she felt. I remember repeating the words that everything would turn out all right and I remembered how hollow those words sounded in my own ears. Most of all I remember the feeling of helplessness and the wondering of why it always seems that God cares a little less about us than He should. Yet here we are eleven months later and Lily has taken that all away. God has taken that all away.
The last few months you have read my ramblings as I struggled through the church plant and how I've wrestled with God over and over. I remember telling a friend once during that time that I felt like I still loved God, but I didn't think I could trust Him. Something has changed since then, I still don't think I can trust God in the way that we want to trust Him, not like a trusty old dog that does just what you expect. He is too great for that, too above us, too "other" for a lack of a better word. To paraphrase Lewis, God is dangerous, but He is good. No, now I trust God for the miracle after the pain, after the fear, after the unexpected. I trust no matter what is thrown at me the end will make the beginning strangely dim. I trust the God that will be there at the end of the day. "Though He slay me..."
“I believe like a child that suffering will be healed and made up for, that all the humiliating absurdity of human contradictions will vanish like a pitiful mirage, like the despicable fabrication of the impotent and infinitely small Euclidean mind of man, that in the world’s finale, at the moment of eternal harmony, something so precious will come to pass that it will suffice for all hearts, for the comforting of all resentments, of the atonement of all the crimes of humanity, of all the blood that they’ve shed; and it will make it not only possible to forgive but to justify what has happened.”
-Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov
The one problem about me waiting and not doing anything to keep my mind busy is that I begin to think and when I think my mind begins wondering down odd paths and back ways and before you know it I have something I want to get out of my head so I can sort it out. The problem was I found myself in a place where most of the people I usually ramble to were either MIA or busy tending to more important things at the moment. So, I decided I'd hold it in a little longer and maybe revisit the old blog for another round of rambling.
"The miracle of birth." I normally dismiss a statement like this as sentimental crap made up by people that feel the uncontrollable need to over dramatize everything in life to somehow give it more weight then it warrants. The more I think about it, however, the more I agree with this one. Oh, not because babies are cute (some are) or because life is precious (even though it is), but rather because of the process. If you've been privileged enough to have a front row seat to a pregnancy, labor, and birth either as an expectant father or probably better yet, as an expectant mother than you might have an idea of what I'm trying to say.
What makes it a miracle in my mind is that it doesn't seem much like one through the process. All of us enter this world through pain, discomfort, anxiety, blood, tears, sweat, and shear exhaustion just to start. Entering life is messy, traumatic, and a little dangerous. Before you were told, you never would have guessed the change that takes place and if you didn't know better you'd swear the way it works out in the end was impossible lie made up by those before you. Yet, in the end you find yourself holding something fragile and beautiful that wasn't here before the ordeal. I've seen a few real miracles in my life and read about one or two during my studies of the scriptures and the messy and dark situations they come out of bear some resemblance in my mind to this "miracle."
It struck me as I was sitting there that just eleven months earlier I was with Bekah at this very same hospital when they told her that she was losing the first baby. I remember the sadness and darkness that day. I remember the pain I felt for her, pain that was nothing compared to how she felt. I remember repeating the words that everything would turn out all right and I remembered how hollow those words sounded in my own ears. Most of all I remember the feeling of helplessness and the wondering of why it always seems that God cares a little less about us than He should. Yet here we are eleven months later and Lily has taken that all away. God has taken that all away.
The last few months you have read my ramblings as I struggled through the church plant and how I've wrestled with God over and over. I remember telling a friend once during that time that I felt like I still loved God, but I didn't think I could trust Him. Something has changed since then, I still don't think I can trust God in the way that we want to trust Him, not like a trusty old dog that does just what you expect. He is too great for that, too above us, too "other" for a lack of a better word. To paraphrase Lewis, God is dangerous, but He is good. No, now I trust God for the miracle after the pain, after the fear, after the unexpected. I trust no matter what is thrown at me the end will make the beginning strangely dim. I trust the God that will be there at the end of the day. "Though He slay me..."
“I believe like a child that suffering will be healed and made up for, that all the humiliating absurdity of human contradictions will vanish like a pitiful mirage, like the despicable fabrication of the impotent and infinitely small Euclidean mind of man, that in the world’s finale, at the moment of eternal harmony, something so precious will come to pass that it will suffice for all hearts, for the comforting of all resentments, of the atonement of all the crimes of humanity, of all the blood that they’ve shed; and it will make it not only possible to forgive but to justify what has happened.”
-Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov
Monday, April 21, 2008
Big news!
Bekah gave birth to Lily Russell today. She's healthy and beautiful. Bekah is in good shape even though I don't think she feels like it at the moment. I'm more tired than I've been in months and I didn't even do anything, so your going to have to wait till tomorrow or the next day before I share my thoughts on this.
Yeah, that's right. I'm going to actually write something again. I think my vacation from blogging is coming to an end. Back to infecting the internet with my ramblings. But for now, I sleep.
Yeah, that's right. I'm going to actually write something again. I think my vacation from blogging is coming to an end. Back to infecting the internet with my ramblings. But for now, I sleep.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Something I found
"July the 14th, 1861
Washington D.C.
My very dear Sarah:
- The indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days—perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write you again, I feel impelled to write lines that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more.
- Our movement may be one of a few days duration and full of pleasure—and it may be one of severe conflict and death to me. Not my will, but thine O God, be done. If it is necessary that I should fall on the battlefield for my country, I am ready. I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in, the cause in which I am engaged, and my courage does not halt or falter. I know how strongly American Civilization now leans upon the triumph of the Government, and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and suffering of the Revolution. And I am willing—perfectly willing—to lay down all my joys in this life, to help maintain this Government, and to pay that debt.
- But, my dear wife, when I know that with my own joys I lay down nearly all of yours, and replace them in this life with cares and sorrows—when, after having eaten for long years the bitter fruit of orphanage myself, I must offer it as their only sustenance to my dear little children—is it weak or dishonorable, while the banner of my purpose floats calmly and proudly in the breeze, that my unbounded love for you, my darling wife and children, should struggle in fierce, though useless, contest with my love of country?
- I cannot describe to you my feelings on this calm summer night, when two thousand men are sleeping around me, many of them enjoying the last, perhaps, before that of death—and I, suspicious that Death is creeping behind me with his fatal dart, am communing with God, my country, and thee.
- I have sought most closely and diligently, and often in my breast, for a wrong motive in thus hazarding the happiness of those I loved and I could not find one. A pure love of my country and of the principles have often advocated before the people and "the name of honor that I love more than I fear death" have called upon me, and I have obeyed.
- Sarah, my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me to you with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break; and yet my love of Country comes over me like a strong wind and bears me irresistibly on with all these chains to the battlefield.
- The memories of the blissful moments I have spent with you come creeping over me, and I feel most gratified to God and to you that I have enjoyed them so long. And hard it is for me to give them up and burn to ashes the hopes of future years, when God willing, we might still have lived and loved together and seen our sons grow up to honorable manhood around us. I have, I know, but few and small claims upon Divine Providence, but something whispers to me—perhaps it is the wafted prayer of my little Edgar—that I shall return to my loved ones unharmed. If I do not, my dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battlefield, it will whisper your name.
- Forgive my many faults, and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless and foolish I have often been! How gladly would I wash out with my tears every little spot upon your happiness, and struggle with all the misfortune of this world, to shield you and my children from harm. But I cannot. I must watch you from the spirit land and hover near you, while you buffet the storms with your precious little freight, and wait with sad patience till we meet to part no more.
- But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you; in the garish day and in the darkest night—amidst your happiest scenes and gloomiest hours—always, always; and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath; or the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by.
- Sarah, do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again.
- As for my little boys, they will grow as I have done, and never know a father's love and care. Little Willie is too young to remember me long, and my blue-eyed Edgar will keep my frolics with him among the dimmest memories of his childhood. Sarah, I have unlimited confidence in your maternal care and your development of their characters. Tell my two mothers his and hers I call God's blessing upon them. O Sarah, I wait for you there! Come to me, and lead thither my children.
-
- Sullivan"
- -Major Sullivan Ballou Written one week before his death at the First Battle of Bull Run.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Open road
The church plant has been closed for two weeks now and so far I've been offered a place at two other churches. I like the pastors at both these churches, but I'm not committing to anything for awhile. I need to spend sometime doing nothing for a little bit. Well, not exectly nothing, just things without major commitment. I am going to be preaching at Clearview on the night of March 30th. I actually think that'll be fun.
Since the Venue has been closed:
1. I've been reading the bible more.
2. I've been feeling less anxious about the future.
3. I've been playing with my kids more on the weekends.
4. I've been learning to trust God a little more.
5. I've started to lose the fifteen pounds I gained back last year.
It funny how bad for you planting a church can be if you're not careful.
Since the Venue has been closed:
1. I've been reading the bible more.
2. I've been feeling less anxious about the future.
3. I've been playing with my kids more on the weekends.
4. I've been learning to trust God a little more.
5. I've started to lose the fifteen pounds I gained back last year.
It funny how bad for you planting a church can be if you're not careful.
Friday, February 8, 2008
Why you pay so much for prescription drugs
Before automated phone services:
Receptionist: Thank you for calling Healthtrap. How may I direct your call?
Me: Hi, I'm calling from a pharmacy. I need a refill too soon override.
Receptionist: One moment while I transfer you to that department. Have a nice day.
After automated phone services:
Recorded Voice: Thank you for calling Healthtrap. If you are calling from a doctor's office press 1. If from a pharmacy press 2.
Me: (2)
Recorded Voice: You pressed #2 if this is correct press #1 if not press #2
Me: (1)
Recorded Voice: If you are calling about a prior auth request press #1. If about a claim rejection press #2. If you need an override press #3.
Me: (3)
Recorded Voice: You pressed #3 if this is correct press #1 if not press #2
Me: (1)
Recorded Voice: Please enter the patient's I.D. number.
Me: (555221234)
Recorded Voice: You entered 555221234 if this is correct press #1.
Me: (1)
Recorded Voice: According to our records the patient's last name is Smith, first name John, Date of Birth 01/01/25. If this is correct press #1.
Me: (1)
Recorded Voice: Please hold while we transfer your call to the next available representative.
Me: (Waiting for twenty minutes while listening to the worst music ever made by man.)
Representive: Thank you for calling Healthtrap. How can I help you.
Me: Hi, I'm calling from a pharmacy. I need a refill too soon override.
Representive: Can I have the member number?
Me: Uh, I gave it to the computer. It's 555221234
Representative: Can I have the member's date of birth?
Me: The computer figured that out from the number.
Representive: I'm sorry sir?
Me: It's 01/01/25.
Representative: Can I have the member's name.
Me: (sigh) It's John Smith.
Representative: Now, how can I help you?
Me: As I was saying, I need a refill too soon override.
Representative: You've called the wrong number. This line is for claim rejections only.
Me: But this is a claim reject. It's a refill too soon reject! Your automated voice thing even gave me the option for overrides, I pressed #3! I don't want to go through another list of options, I just want an override!
Representative: I'm sorry sir, but you need our clinical department. Don't worry though I'll directly transfer you.
Me: Oh good, thank you.
Representative: Just one moment while I connect you.
Me: (A few moments go by and I hear a "click")
Recorded Voice: Thank you for calling Healthtrap. If you are calling from a doctor's office press 1. If from a pharmacy press 2.
Receptionist: Thank you for calling Healthtrap. How may I direct your call?
Me: Hi, I'm calling from a pharmacy. I need a refill too soon override.
Receptionist: One moment while I transfer you to that department. Have a nice day.
After automated phone services:
Recorded Voice: Thank you for calling Healthtrap. If you are calling from a doctor's office press 1. If from a pharmacy press 2.
Me: (2)
Recorded Voice: You pressed #2 if this is correct press #1 if not press #2
Me: (1)
Recorded Voice: If you are calling about a prior auth request press #1. If about a claim rejection press #2. If you need an override press #3.
Me: (3)
Recorded Voice: You pressed #3 if this is correct press #1 if not press #2
Me: (1)
Recorded Voice: Please enter the patient's I.D. number.
Me: (555221234)
Recorded Voice: You entered 555221234 if this is correct press #1.
Me: (1)
Recorded Voice: According to our records the patient's last name is Smith, first name John, Date of Birth 01/01/25. If this is correct press #1.
Me: (1)
Recorded Voice: Please hold while we transfer your call to the next available representative.
Me: (Waiting for twenty minutes while listening to the worst music ever made by man.)
Representive: Thank you for calling Healthtrap. How can I help you.
Me: Hi, I'm calling from a pharmacy. I need a refill too soon override.
Representive: Can I have the member number?
Me: Uh, I gave it to the computer. It's 555221234
Representative: Can I have the member's date of birth?
Me: The computer figured that out from the number.
Representive: I'm sorry sir?
Me: It's 01/01/25.
Representative: Can I have the member's name.
Me: (sigh) It's John Smith.
Representative: Now, how can I help you?
Me: As I was saying, I need a refill too soon override.
Representative: You've called the wrong number. This line is for claim rejections only.
Me: But this is a claim reject. It's a refill too soon reject! Your automated voice thing even gave me the option for overrides, I pressed #3! I don't want to go through another list of options, I just want an override!
Representative: I'm sorry sir, but you need our clinical department. Don't worry though I'll directly transfer you.
Me: Oh good, thank you.
Representative: Just one moment while I connect you.
Me: (A few moments go by and I hear a "click")
Recorded Voice: Thank you for calling Healthtrap. If you are calling from a doctor's office press 1. If from a pharmacy press 2.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Goodbye football for another season
The Giants won the Superbowl! I've never been I Giants fan, but I did think that they deserved more credit than what people were giving them this season and thanks to them I won't have to go through the rest of my life hearing about how unstoppable the 2007 Patriots were. I don't think I could've put up with anymore than I've already had to endure this year. Thank you Eli. You've won a place in my heart, although I think winning the Superbowl is probably a little more rewarding to you right now.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Friday, February 1, 2008
To do list
Things I did instead of preparing for church this week:
1. Finished watching Spaced - This is a British sitcom from a while back staring and created by the guys from Shaun of the Dead. If you haven't seen this show your life is incomplete. Go out and find it now! Unfortunately, it only ran for 14 episodes, so you just start to enjoy it and then it's over, like getting a date with the homecoming queen only to find out her curfew is 9 o'clock.
2. Read for fun - I'm rereading the Song of Fire and Ice books. George Martin has made me happy in ways that I never thought a large man with a lot of facial hair could. Rumor has it that HBO is going to be making the books into a series once the writers' strike thing cools down and I can't wait. Meanwhile, I think I'll pick up his novellas while I wait for him to finish that next book I've been waiting two years for.
3. Did homework - This week I learned about mental retardation. Maybe I'll just leave it at that.
4. Picked up about three weddings - The wedding phone calls have started again. I had made up my mind not to do anymore, but with the church plant no more my weekends suddenly look free again.
5. Played dumb internet games - You know, those ones that are free to play and are all basically the same kind of puzzle or word game with different graphics and slight variations. They have this one where chickens lay eggs with letters on them and you have to spell words with them (the eggs not the chickens). Man, it seems like someone has beat me to all the great ideas in life.
6. Did my taxes - This time of year makes my happy that I have kids. Daddy loves his little tax credits.
7. Looked forward to the weekend - Don't get me wrong, I had a great time running the church, but when you get a time to rest you need to enjoy it. I have nothing to do this week except meet everybody for lunch on Sunday. The last time I had nothing to do on a Sunday was July and whereas I don't think this Sunday will compare to a beach trip, it'll do nicely all the same.
1. Finished watching Spaced - This is a British sitcom from a while back staring and created by the guys from Shaun of the Dead. If you haven't seen this show your life is incomplete. Go out and find it now! Unfortunately, it only ran for 14 episodes, so you just start to enjoy it and then it's over, like getting a date with the homecoming queen only to find out her curfew is 9 o'clock.
2. Read for fun - I'm rereading the Song of Fire and Ice books. George Martin has made me happy in ways that I never thought a large man with a lot of facial hair could. Rumor has it that HBO is going to be making the books into a series once the writers' strike thing cools down and I can't wait. Meanwhile, I think I'll pick up his novellas while I wait for him to finish that next book I've been waiting two years for.
3. Did homework - This week I learned about mental retardation. Maybe I'll just leave it at that.
4. Picked up about three weddings - The wedding phone calls have started again. I had made up my mind not to do anymore, but with the church plant no more my weekends suddenly look free again.
5. Played dumb internet games - You know, those ones that are free to play and are all basically the same kind of puzzle or word game with different graphics and slight variations. They have this one where chickens lay eggs with letters on them and you have to spell words with them (the eggs not the chickens). Man, it seems like someone has beat me to all the great ideas in life.
6. Did my taxes - This time of year makes my happy that I have kids. Daddy loves his little tax credits.
7. Looked forward to the weekend - Don't get me wrong, I had a great time running the church, but when you get a time to rest you need to enjoy it. I have nothing to do this week except meet everybody for lunch on Sunday. The last time I had nothing to do on a Sunday was July and whereas I don't think this Sunday will compare to a beach trip, it'll do nicely all the same.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Worn out tools
This will be the Venue's last Sunday.
I watched so many miracles take place in are pre-launch phase of this that I'm sure we were blessed by God. From nowhere we gathered an impossible amount of money to make this work, the core team came together with no effort, and are location just fell into our laps. Every need we had was met, except one.
We never managed to get a healthy number of people signed on to our vision. We gathered a handful of really awesome people, but it stayed at just a handful. We didn't have enough people to offer any kid's church to ages above 5, yet we were trying to reach young families. We never had the volunteers to take over the labor intensive tasks of set up and break down or neighborhood advertising, leaving our pastoral staff overwhelmed with all the tasks to be done in one week see how we all pull 40+ hours a week in our regular jobs. Our weekly offerings were way more than I could believe, but still it just met our obligations with nothing left forcing us to dive into savings for any outreach or advertising.
All of that wouldn't have matter though if we were doing what we set out to do, reach the last with the gospel. The purpose of this church was to reach the lost and provide them a place to connect that would feel like family, but in order to do that we needed more than just our pastoral team. We weren't doing this, so the question was why are we doing this? We decided to give God time to work and wait to see while we continued with outreach and advertising, but after the better part of a year nothing has changed.
I don't feel like I've really heard from God on this for ages. If He wants this saved we'll listening. The truth is, I've known a lot better pastors than me who have had failed church plants. I think sometimes God sends us through things just to train us for things He's going to do later on down the road. I think that sucks, but I'm open to it.
It's strange to put down something that's been the center of your life for the last 6 years, but it is also freeing. For the first time since I became a follower of Jesus I have no idea what I'm suppose to do, oddly it feels freeing. So, now what? I'm going to take a three to six month break from ministry, maybe a little longer. I'm going to go to church with my friends and just spend my time listening. When God is ready to call me back up I'll answer, but for now it's time to live again.
I guess I'm going to change the title of the blog soon. I'm not sure if I'm going to keep writing or not, I guess we'll see how it goes.
"Is it you now, to watch the things you've gave your life to broken, stoop and build them up with with worn out tools?" - Kipling (sort of)
I watched so many miracles take place in are pre-launch phase of this that I'm sure we were blessed by God. From nowhere we gathered an impossible amount of money to make this work, the core team came together with no effort, and are location just fell into our laps. Every need we had was met, except one.
We never managed to get a healthy number of people signed on to our vision. We gathered a handful of really awesome people, but it stayed at just a handful. We didn't have enough people to offer any kid's church to ages above 5, yet we were trying to reach young families. We never had the volunteers to take over the labor intensive tasks of set up and break down or neighborhood advertising, leaving our pastoral staff overwhelmed with all the tasks to be done in one week see how we all pull 40+ hours a week in our regular jobs. Our weekly offerings were way more than I could believe, but still it just met our obligations with nothing left forcing us to dive into savings for any outreach or advertising.
All of that wouldn't have matter though if we were doing what we set out to do, reach the last with the gospel. The purpose of this church was to reach the lost and provide them a place to connect that would feel like family, but in order to do that we needed more than just our pastoral team. We weren't doing this, so the question was why are we doing this? We decided to give God time to work and wait to see while we continued with outreach and advertising, but after the better part of a year nothing has changed.
I don't feel like I've really heard from God on this for ages. If He wants this saved we'll listening. The truth is, I've known a lot better pastors than me who have had failed church plants. I think sometimes God sends us through things just to train us for things He's going to do later on down the road. I think that sucks, but I'm open to it.
It's strange to put down something that's been the center of your life for the last 6 years, but it is also freeing. For the first time since I became a follower of Jesus I have no idea what I'm suppose to do, oddly it feels freeing. So, now what? I'm going to take a three to six month break from ministry, maybe a little longer. I'm going to go to church with my friends and just spend my time listening. When God is ready to call me back up I'll answer, but for now it's time to live again.
I guess I'm going to change the title of the blog soon. I'm not sure if I'm going to keep writing or not, I guess we'll see how it goes.
"Is it you now, to watch the things you've gave your life to broken, stoop and build them up with with worn out tools?" - Kipling (sort of)
Saturday, January 19, 2008
My daughter dragged her dead grandma up the stairs today
My kids hung out with Autumn's parents last night. The kids were asleep when they got home, so I carried them up to bed and left the bag of things they brought from the grandparents by the steps downstairs.
This morning Hannah woke me up to tell me that grandpa gave me a present last night and she wanted to go get it. Being half asleep still I replied with a mumbled, "Sure, pumpkin."
The next thing I remember is hearing thumping coming up the stairs and my daughter making grunts. By time I came around Hannah was back at my bedside and had thrown something heavy in my lap.
Yep, it was Autumn's dead mom.
Apparently my father-in law and his wife were cleaning out their house and thought that the kids should have the ashes of their mother, so he sent them home with my daughter. I'm just glad the urn didn't break when she was dragging it up the stairs. Cleaning that up before Autumn woke up would've been a little more than I'd had in mind for my Saturday morning.
This morning Hannah woke me up to tell me that grandpa gave me a present last night and she wanted to go get it. Being half asleep still I replied with a mumbled, "Sure, pumpkin."
The next thing I remember is hearing thumping coming up the stairs and my daughter making grunts. By time I came around Hannah was back at my bedside and had thrown something heavy in my lap.
Yep, it was Autumn's dead mom.
Apparently my father-in law and his wife were cleaning out their house and thought that the kids should have the ashes of their mother, so he sent them home with my daughter. I'm just glad the urn didn't break when she was dragging it up the stairs. Cleaning that up before Autumn woke up would've been a little more than I'd had in mind for my Saturday morning.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Oh yeah, about the apathy
This Sunday marks one year since we started our preview services for The Venue. I remember all the emotions running through me back then, excitement, fear, relief, anger, happiness, frustration, etc. I never thought anyone could feel so much at once. I felt like a baseball player having mood swings from too many roids. It was scary, but we did it and here we are a year later.
Here I am twelve months later and it's just the opposite, as I said before, I don't feel anything. Well, not completely, I mean I still feel love for my family and I still laugh and have a good time when I'm around the people I like. It's just I don't feel excited about anything or inspired by anything (although I did get excited about a plate of chicken fingers I had ordered about a week ago, but alas, they weren't that good).
They told me that this would happen sometimes when you plant a church, but they also told me as the leader that I had to keep myself pumped up even when I didn't feel like it or else it would carry over to the rest of the church. Maybe there is wisdom in that, but it just seems kinda fake to me. I see all these churches where the pastor is always talking about how next week is going to be the best Sunday yet and how stoked they are about ministry and I'm thinking to myself, "Really, always?"
I'm not depressed and I don't feel pessimistic, I'm just kinda numb. It's like, "Okay God, here I am. Now what?" I want to feel moved and inspired again, but I don't want it to be faked or forced just because I'm afraid people will walk away if they saw what was really going on behind the curtain. I want to feel the presence of God again and have that fear that I'm in over my head yet love every moment of it. I want to enjoy this.
I guess it all comes down to the fact that as far back as I can remember I've hated standing still, I've hated waiting, and I've hated not being told what's coming next. The thing is sometimes that's what God wants us to do. I don't like it, but there have been a lot of times in my life where it felt like God just stopped talking and it's always when I needed to hear from Him the most. It might be that He doesn't really care in the way we think He should or maybe it's just that like any parent He knows when it's time to take off the training wheels and let you balance yourself even if it's at the risk of some scraped knees.
The really strange thing to me is that despite all of these feelings, or lack of rather, I feel more self stable and calm than I have in months. The nice thing about not feeling much of anything is that you don't really feel stress either.
Sooner or later I'm sure I'll have one of those awe inspiring moments of divine clarity, but until then I think I'll just write my sermons, go to work, and hang out with the people I like. The great things in life are just like the most awful, they have always hit me when I wasn't looking.
Oh and did I mention how I'm so stoked because next Sunday is going to be the best one yet?
Here I am twelve months later and it's just the opposite, as I said before, I don't feel anything. Well, not completely, I mean I still feel love for my family and I still laugh and have a good time when I'm around the people I like. It's just I don't feel excited about anything or inspired by anything (although I did get excited about a plate of chicken fingers I had ordered about a week ago, but alas, they weren't that good).
They told me that this would happen sometimes when you plant a church, but they also told me as the leader that I had to keep myself pumped up even when I didn't feel like it or else it would carry over to the rest of the church. Maybe there is wisdom in that, but it just seems kinda fake to me. I see all these churches where the pastor is always talking about how next week is going to be the best Sunday yet and how stoked they are about ministry and I'm thinking to myself, "Really, always?"
I'm not depressed and I don't feel pessimistic, I'm just kinda numb. It's like, "Okay God, here I am. Now what?" I want to feel moved and inspired again, but I don't want it to be faked or forced just because I'm afraid people will walk away if they saw what was really going on behind the curtain. I want to feel the presence of God again and have that fear that I'm in over my head yet love every moment of it. I want to enjoy this.
I guess it all comes down to the fact that as far back as I can remember I've hated standing still, I've hated waiting, and I've hated not being told what's coming next. The thing is sometimes that's what God wants us to do. I don't like it, but there have been a lot of times in my life where it felt like God just stopped talking and it's always when I needed to hear from Him the most. It might be that He doesn't really care in the way we think He should or maybe it's just that like any parent He knows when it's time to take off the training wheels and let you balance yourself even if it's at the risk of some scraped knees.
The really strange thing to me is that despite all of these feelings, or lack of rather, I feel more self stable and calm than I have in months. The nice thing about not feeling much of anything is that you don't really feel stress either.
Sooner or later I'm sure I'll have one of those awe inspiring moments of divine clarity, but until then I think I'll just write my sermons, go to work, and hang out with the people I like. The great things in life are just like the most awful, they have always hit me when I wasn't looking.
Oh and did I mention how I'm so stoked because next Sunday is going to be the best one yet?
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Spiderman 3 (spoilers)
Me and Tyson watched Spiderman 3 last night. We weren't expecting it to be anything great, but we thought it would at least be a fun flick for a Friday night at home. Oh, we were so wrong. This has been the worst movie I've seen since I couldn't find the remote and ended up watching the Lifetime channel. I swear they must of called Warner Bros. and asked how they ran the first Batman franchise into the ground and took notes. Here are some of my thoughts:
1. There were like eighty super villains. They tried to throw every bad guy they could think of into this movie which left them about 3 minutes of screen time to develop each one's origin and back story and still ended up making a movie that felt five hours long. The alien symbiote (sp?) fell from a meteor next to Peter and Mary Jane making out, went home with peter, and promptly disappeared for the next three hours.
2. The Sandman was created by falling into a molecular particle accelerator that was set up outside in the middle of of forest guarded only by a chain link fence and miraculously being used at 12:30 at night, you know the time all molecular physicists do their best work. Oh, and by the way, it turns out the Sandman was the one who kills Peter's Uncle and not the guy he didn't stop in the first movie, thus making the whole reason Parker became Spiderman a big misunderstanding.
3. Let's talk about Venom for a moment now. The villain everybody wanted to see was played by Topher Grace the only man in Hollywood built more like a girl than Tobey Macguire. This is like the third movie I've seen this guy in and it's the third movie he's revised his role of Eric Forman from That 70's Show. It's just what this movie needed a Venom that looked like a twelve year old girl might defeat him.
4. They continued the tradition of taking off Spiderman's mask evey chance they could so we could see Macguire's face, you know because he's a big time actor and needs his face time. The movie's called Tobeyman right? There's a reason why superheros wear masks and it kinda makes the whole idea of wearing them silly when you take it off in broad daylight in the middle of the city every chance you get.
5. For some reason the Black Spiderman outfit turns people into a dancing goth. Yes, he danced around New York for about twenty minutes of this movie. Yes, he did have to dress up like a 10th grader with social issues during those twenty minutes.
6. That's okay though, because apparently getting hit on the head makes you into a smiley dork who likes to cook and paint, as we see in the case of Osborne. I thought I was watching Joel Olsteen. I forgive him though because I felt sorry for him after his butler decided to tell him Spiderman didn't actually kill his father. This is information that he probably could have used before he spent years of his life trying to kill his best friend while nearly getting himself killed and ending up horribly disfigured.
There's a lot more, but I need to stop thinking about this movie now. Once again Hollywood thinks they can have a sure thing with a superhero movie and decide to throw any crap at us because they know we'll watch it no matter how lame and poorly done it is. They are right.
1. There were like eighty super villains. They tried to throw every bad guy they could think of into this movie which left them about 3 minutes of screen time to develop each one's origin and back story and still ended up making a movie that felt five hours long. The alien symbiote (sp?) fell from a meteor next to Peter and Mary Jane making out, went home with peter, and promptly disappeared for the next three hours.
2. The Sandman was created by falling into a molecular particle accelerator that was set up outside in the middle of of forest guarded only by a chain link fence and miraculously being used at 12:30 at night, you know the time all molecular physicists do their best work. Oh, and by the way, it turns out the Sandman was the one who kills Peter's Uncle and not the guy he didn't stop in the first movie, thus making the whole reason Parker became Spiderman a big misunderstanding.
3. Let's talk about Venom for a moment now. The villain everybody wanted to see was played by Topher Grace the only man in Hollywood built more like a girl than Tobey Macguire. This is like the third movie I've seen this guy in and it's the third movie he's revised his role of Eric Forman from That 70's Show. It's just what this movie needed a Venom that looked like a twelve year old girl might defeat him.
4. They continued the tradition of taking off Spiderman's mask evey chance they could so we could see Macguire's face, you know because he's a big time actor and needs his face time. The movie's called Tobeyman right? There's a reason why superheros wear masks and it kinda makes the whole idea of wearing them silly when you take it off in broad daylight in the middle of the city every chance you get.
5. For some reason the Black Spiderman outfit turns people into a dancing goth. Yes, he danced around New York for about twenty minutes of this movie. Yes, he did have to dress up like a 10th grader with social issues during those twenty minutes.
6. That's okay though, because apparently getting hit on the head makes you into a smiley dork who likes to cook and paint, as we see in the case of Osborne. I thought I was watching Joel Olsteen. I forgive him though because I felt sorry for him after his butler decided to tell him Spiderman didn't actually kill his father. This is information that he probably could have used before he spent years of his life trying to kill his best friend while nearly getting himself killed and ending up horribly disfigured.
There's a lot more, but I need to stop thinking about this movie now. Once again Hollywood thinks they can have a sure thing with a superhero movie and decide to throw any crap at us because they know we'll watch it no matter how lame and poorly done it is. They are right.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Cool little quote (well, maybe not little)
“Quit living as if the purpose of life is to arrive safely at death. Set God-sized goals. Pursue God-ordained passions. Go after a dream that is destined to fail without divine intervention. Keep asking questions. Keep making mistakes. Keep seeking God. Stop pointing out problems and become part of the solution. Stop repeating the past and start creating the future. Stop playing it safe and start taking risks. Expand your horizons. Accumulate experiences. Enjoy the journey. Find every excuse you can to celebrate everything you can. Live like today is the first day and last day of your life. Don’t let what’s wrong with you keep you from worshiping what’s right with God. Burn sinful bridges. Blaze new trails. Criticize by creating. Worry less about what people think and more about what God thinks. Don’t try to be who you’re not. Be yourself. Laugh at yourself. Quit holding out. Quit holding back. Quit running away. Chase the lion.“ - Mark Batterson
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
2008
I don't believe in New Year Resolutions, I think they are for losers that want to change things about themselves that they never will. So I vow never to do them.
Here is my list of things I simply plan to do in the new year:
1. Lose 10 pounds - This would take me back down to my ideal weight. Not much to lose, but I really like eating.
2. Get school done - If I keep up this pace I'll be ready to student teach next January.
3. Read more - I need to start trying to find some good books to read, this year I mainly just reread old ones.
4. Updates - I need to update just about everything my blog, my myspace, the church website, etc.
5. Projects - I have about 20 things to do around the house. If I get to 2 by October I'll feel good about myself.
Here is my list of things I simply plan to do in the new year:
1. Lose 10 pounds - This would take me back down to my ideal weight. Not much to lose, but I really like eating.
2. Get school done - If I keep up this pace I'll be ready to student teach next January.
3. Read more - I need to start trying to find some good books to read, this year I mainly just reread old ones.
4. Updates - I need to update just about everything my blog, my myspace, the church website, etc.
5. Projects - I have about 20 things to do around the house. If I get to 2 by October I'll feel good about myself.
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