Food With Paper In It

I had Panda Express for diner tonight. One of the things I like about eating Chinese is the fortune cookie at the end. When I first became a Christian I would never read them because I thought that would be like practicing witchcraft, but now I just enjoy them for the oddity that they are. Most of them could hardly be considered "fortunes" they are more like happy wishes. I usually get ones that say things like, "You have a charming personality," or "You will enjoy the company of a seldom seen friend," or even "Saving your money is wise." It's kinda a let down when you think about it.

Here are some fortunes I would like to see in some cookies (but maybe not my own):

1. You will be attacked by wild otters soon.
2. Somewhere people are laughing at you right now.
3. Your mother will marry a one eyed stranger with a limp.
4. Beware of the cob salad.
5. I see cotton in your near future.
6. It's not just a rash.
7. She's lying to you.
8. Walking backwards will bring you great riches.
9. Try again later.
10. You look fat in those pants.
11. That wasn't pork.
12. Leave your wallet on the table and walk out slowly.
13. You are about to forget something important.
14. It's not just you.
15. Death waits in the parking lot.