Wyatt Earp is My Friend...

There's this group of guys I meet with for breakfast when I can about every other week. It's kinda a networking type thing, we all perform weddings here in town so we give each other work and share ideas about how we do things. I'm the youngest there by far, so I usually do a lot more listening than talking, but I enjoy being there when I can.

As we were about to leave someone made a comment about how it was nice to get together because it's very lonely being a pastor and that most the pastors they know don't have anyone to talk to on a regular basis. I'd heard that from many pastors I've known, but something hit me about that today. I started thinking about the pastors I've known and tried to name two close friends for each one. I couldn't do it...not for even one...and I've been in ministry for almost ten years. It seems odd to me that the men who spend so much time trying to get people in their churches to have positive relationships with each other don't seem to have any themselves.

I began to wonder if this is one of the reasons why so many pastors fail. Maybe if there was someone there to listen to their problems the way they listen to everybody else they would be less stressed out. Maybe if there was someone there that actually knew what was going on in their lives on a regular basis there would be less moral failures. Maybe if they had people that cared enough to tell them when they were smoking crack then there would be less crappy decisions made. Maybe if they just had more people they could hang out with the lone purpose of having fun there would be less burn out.

Now, some people might be saying, "My spouse is my best friend." That's good, they should be, but they don't count. Autumn knows me better than anyone, she is my favorite person to be with, and we regularly laugh and have a great time together, but she is only one person. To place all your needs onto one person is unfair and dangerous.

I'm not trying to say that I know how to get friends and I know pastoring can feel lonely even when you are surrounded by friends. I just feel that this is a part of ministry that gets overlooked because we are so busy and we forget how important it is until it's too late.

I'm starting The Venue with a half dozen of my best friends. It is one of my goals that in five years from now if anyone asks one of our people who my closest friends are they won't have to stop and think about the question.