Father?

Fathers' Day was never a very special holiday for me. It might be because I grew up without a dad. Not having a dad as a kid sucks, but what's worse is having to deal with your mom's boyfriends. They were always some old dudes missing body parts and working jobs like landscaping and horse grooming (when they actually had jobs). I always wished my mom could've dated and married cool guys so that I'd have a dad you could be proud of, not one who you found sleeping off a fifth of Jack in your front yard on Thursday morning. So in honor of the holiday here are a list of guys that I think it would be cool to have as a dad:

1. Ozzy - Hey if your going to have some stoned guy you can't understand as your dad, you might as well go for the gusto.

2. Billy Dee Williams - Because who wouldn't want Lando for a dad?

3. Elton John - Because it would confuse him as much as everyone else.

4. Brad Pitt - Hey, he's adopted so many kids, what's one more? Although it be a bit weird seeing my wife drool over my dad.

5. Jack Bauer - Although, he'd probably end up torturing me to save the world somehow.

6. Sean Connery - He could call me junior.

7. Prince - So I could barrow his clothes.

8. Antonio Banderas - Because a sexy man deserves a sexy son.