Yard Sales

I remember once in California we had a church yard sale to raise money for the youth group to go to camp. We asked everyone in the church to bring whatever they didn't want anymore so that we could sell it to make some cash. I was shocked at the things that people actually brought thinking that we would want to touch it, let alone try to sell it to someone.

For those of you who are thinking about donating items to your church's yard sale this year, here are somethings you might not want to give:

1. Used underwear, especially if it's a thong.
2. Polaroids of your family
3. Porn
4. Old thermometers and I'm not talking about the oral kind.
5. Socks that have holes in the toes larger than a quarter.
6. Broken eye glasses.
7. Used toothbrushes.
8. Your daughter's dairy.
9. Prescription medication.
10. Your old retainer.
11. Half full bottles of Pert Plus.
12. Books of completed crossword puzzles.
13. Bedpans.
14. Ceral.
15. 100 pens each one completely out of ink.

You think I'm kidding. I wish I was.