Move

My house is almost finished. I figure in about a month I should be moving. I like the idea of going through things and figuring out what I need and what I don't. It feels good to get rid of useless junk and see what new things I need to buy that I've been putting off for awhile. It's amazing how much stuff we hold on to that serves no purpose. My wife gets scared sometimes because she things that I'm getting rid of things we might need one day, but my response is that we can always get a new one if that is true. I'm one of those people that can only be bothered by so much.

This is kinda like the reason people told me I'd fail at this church plant. I had a pastor once tell me that I would never make it as a pastor because the only thing I cared about was my friends. That's a bit of an understatement, but it isn't that far off from the truth. I care about more things than just my friends and family, its just that I decided that I won't sacrifice those two things so that I can carry around everything that the world ( or the church) thinks I should care about.

I've been thinking about the times in my life that my friends needed me and I was there, whether because they needed help moving, or had a big event in their lives, or just needed someone to be there when they were hurt. I realized that at those times if I would've been made to choose between being there for the people that I love who needed me or being there for the church as an organization, the church would lose.

I think this makes me a bad pastor. I think this means that it is beyond me ability to have have a large church. I think all the people who told me that this is why I would fail might be right, but I just don't care.

I have watched countless pastors sacrifice their friends and family for the "church" until they are alone despite being surrounded by people and I just can't do that. I have failed the people I love many times in my life and I will keep failing them, but if I'm going to spend time and energy in one area of my life this will be it. I believe God put the people who are close to me in my life for a reason and I won't throw that away so that I can handle more stuff that doesn't really matter.

When you move to a new place you have to decide what can be replaced and what can't. I've made my choice.