Hot Married Passion

In honor of the holiday I was going to do a top ten list of things I love about my wife, but after thinking about it for twenty minutes I came to the conclusion that it would be impossible to narrow it down that far and if I wanted to do the woman justice I'd have to type all night. It takes a very special woman to be a pastor's wife, and it takes an even more special woman to be a church planters wife, and it takes a flat out unique woman to be married to me.

Autumn and I will have been married for nine years this year and I've with her for a total of twelve. Although I know it sounds cheesy, I am more in love with her now then I was on our wedding day. The strange thing about that is that our love looks totally different now then it did back then.

Back when we started dating we tried to spend every waking moment together, we would talk to each other for hours about nothing, and we would be all over each other every chance we got. On a holiday like Valentine's Day we would try to do the most romantic thing we could afford (which was never much) while worrying about what the other was going to think.

Now years later, we see each other about an hour each day on most weekdays. Most of what we talk about is the kids, the church, and the house. We still take time to be all over each other but with a two year old you have to be a little more strategic. As for tonight's Valentines dinner, it will be a dinner for two with me and my daughter at home, while my wife enjoys her dinner at work.

I understand how it might seem odd that I claim we love each other more now then back then. Back in the first couple years of marriage when all this started to happen I use to worry that we were losing our passion or that the flame was dieing out of our romance. Then I realized something.When you barbecue you light the coals and a lot of flame shoots up. The flame looks impressive and is pretty but you can't cook with the flame because it isn't hot enough to do anything. You have to wait until the fire goes into the coals before the real heat begins. When the coals are ready you might not see any flames but when you get close the heat is evident.

I think a marriage is like that. When we were young we had a lot of passion on the outside but the inner relationship was still growing. The things we have done together in the last few years would've been really hard for us back then. Now, we might not have all the outward signs you see in a new couple but inside we've grown together and the heat burns stronger than ever. This doesn't mean there is no outward passion or romance, just that when it does come it has more meaning.

Sometimes I wonder if this is like our relationship with God. Many times I hear Christians speak of how "on fire" they were when they first believed and how they wish they could have that passion again. I have felt that way myself at times but now as I grow older I wouldn't trade what I have now in my relationship with God for any of that kind of "fire." The things I've went through with God in the last 13 years has made my passion for Him stronger on the inside than it ever was back then. Although I may have looked more spiritual back then, that person would not have survived the plans that God had for him unless he had changed.

I don't expect any newlyweds or new believers to understand what I'm saying here, and most will say I'm making excuses to justify the way things are, but give it twelve years in your relationship with your spouse or your God and then see for yourself if I'm wrong.

Once again I've gone too long and off the original subject...preacher's habit.