I Guess This is Growing Up...

I have a lot of big things happening in the next couple months. I bought a new house, we are planting a new church, and Autumn is having a new baby. Most of this is a big daze to me, I'm just going along with everything as it comes. The baby is not a problem, I've got the father thing pretty well down. The house doesn't bother me as much as I thought it would either, everything is going to work out fine there. The church is a different story.

I have no doubts about the church doing well, I've seen enough confirmation from God so far that my faith in that area is strong. The scary thing to me is what kind of lead pastor I'm going to be. It's starting to sink in now that I have the job of keeping the vision going. I have the job of making the final call. I have the job of seeing things in people that they may not see in themselves or are to afraid to see in themselves. I have the job of listening. I have the job of helping people grow. I have the job of driving off the wolves. I have the job of showing people Jesus. It's a little bit sobering.

The problem is that for the most part I'm a bit of screw-up. I say things that I shouldn't, I do things without thinking about them first, and I have a tendency to bluff my way through things when I don't know what I'm doing. I feel like the office slacker who shows up for work late one day and by some odd chance of fate everyone above him is out sick with the flu leaving him in charge to run things by default.

I think about these things sometimes until God reminds me of one of the most important things in leadership, It's not about me. Maybe there are a thousand pastors that could do this job better than me, but they're not here and I am. Remember in Isaiah how the prophet is standing in the throne room of God and God asks, "Who shall we send and who will take our message?" Isaiah is in the presence of thousands of angels (The Hebrew word for angel lit. means "messenger") who have been created to be God's messengers yet he's the one who speaks up and says, "Here I am, send me." This is just after Isaiah has confessed to being a man of sinful lips living among sinful people. The thing is it wasn't about who Isaiah was it was about who God is.

So off I go to lead another Sunday night.