Change

I went back to work today, but I'm going to take the next two days off to help with Ethan while Autumn recovers from the wonders of birth. I only have three more weeks left with the first graders and this is a wonderful thing. They aren't a bad class and I like the kids, I just feel bored with it now. I'm ready for something different even if it's not that great.

I've become one of those people that longs for Friday, when I can do the things I really want to do and be with the people I really want to be with. I want to get to the place where everyday is like that and maybe I'm just being overly optimistic, but I don't think that day is so far off.

I know I should be content where I am at the moment and I am content in the sense that I'm right where I'm suppose to be, but there is another part of me that isn't content because I know more is coming and, for better or worse, I want it. I guess this is kind of a confusion I struggle with.

Sometimes I come off like I think I have everything figured out and the truth is I'm a long way off. There are a lot of things that have came into my life with this church plant that confuse me, but I'm thinking and talking through them and each day I feel like more things are becoming clearer. It really feels like God is reforming me in ways I'm not fully grasping yet. I'm not the person I was five years ago and I don't know what I'm going to look like five years from now (other than even more incredibly hot) but I think God is getting me ready for something big. This is scary to me, but here I am.