Ode to Tyson

Today, two of the other pastors of The Venue (Jason and Tyson) and myself went out to have lunch and fix somethings on our account at the bank. On the way back Jason and I began making statements about how manly Tyson was. Those of you who are familiar with the facts about Chuck Norris will have probably recognise most of them, but they made us laugh so here is a sample:

1. Tyson doesn't sleep, he waits.
2. Tyson doesn't do push-ups, he pushes the Earth down.
3. Tyson once got into a knife fight and the knife lost.
4. Tyson's tears cure cancer, too bad he's never cried.
5. Tyson's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, nobody fools Tyson.
6. Tyson once did a wheelie on a unicycle.
7. Superman owns a pair of Tyson pajamas.
8. Tyson doesn't read books, he stares them down until he gets the info he wants from them.
9. Tyson can build a snowman out of rain.
10. Tyson once had a heart attack, the heart lost.
11. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Tyson's fist.
12. Tyson doesn't play hide-and-seek, he plays hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you.
13. When the Bogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Tyson.
14. Tyson isn't afraid of the dark, the dark is afraid of Tyson.
15. Tyson can speak braille.
16. Lysol can kill 99.9% of germs, Tyson can kill 100% of whatever he wants.
17. Tyson has been to Mars , that's why there are no signs of life there.
18. Tyson ordered a Big Mac at Taco Bell and got one.
19. Tyson often donates blood to the Red Cross , but it's never his own.
20. There's no such thing as global warming, Tyson was cold and turned the sun up.